wait..its over?

today is the day... my very last night in college station.

my room looks similar to what i assume my nyc apartment will look like. tiny, and void of anything but a computer, an air mattress and a few bags. i hope it makes it easier to leave tomorrow.

oh yeah, and im officially a hoarder.
nah, that pics not my room, but its a good replica. i think ive kept every note, card, letter or sticky note anyone has ever given me. whats up love language apparently?
i will miss this room...


i leave for haiti in 5 days! WOW. I am literally in disbelief that its here already. I have a ton to do this week, and the Lord is the ONLY thing getting me through it all. a common questions people have been asking of late is "how excited are you for nyu?!" to which i am always thrown off for a bit. life has been moving so rapidly i feel like i can't even get excited about nyu yet, first i h ad to get through finals, then the weddings, then moving, now Haiti, then the cruise...THEN... then i can FINALLY be excited about nyu. i was thinking i would make a trip out there in july to look at apartments but it looks like katie and her dad will be doing that which is great! but i was looking forward to an excuse to go up there...

oh, i also found this t-chart. i have to laugh because i am very much obsessed with t-charts, pros and cons etc. etc. when i am making decisions. i made this the beginning of junior year, in regards to the next summer...

i love that impact wasn't an options. neither was staying at home. ha. guess God all sorts of showed me who was boss. Thanks Dad. its times like that when i can be thankful that no matter how much i think i can screw up your plan...i can't.

so long C.S. its been a good 4 years, i love you lots. be good to my sister these next 4...




-ckm

oh hey grad

I did it!

I'm a former student at Texas A&M University. How bizarre.



So far no emotional breakdowns! Then again, I don't think I've stopped moving until this very second. Graduation was followed by a great trip to Grune, Texas and then to our friend Zach's ranch, which some could argue was well onto the border of Mexico. I spent a night in College Station then boarded a plane (yes, a plane, in Houston) to go to Dallas for my junior year roommate's wedding, and then stayed in Dallas for a few days visiting with my grandma and cousin.

I leave for Haiti in t-minus 9 days.
9 days! That is single digits people.

I feel like it was just yesterday that I was boarding the plane for my first trip, and then praying fervently for an answer of whether or not the Lord was calling me back. Now, here I am, 9 days out.

Of course, Satan has been trying to weeasle his way in like always. Initially I was supposed to be working at a camp here in Texas. I would have been in Tyler for orientation yesterday. There are moments when I face regret, or challenge what I am doing. I get scared and then get angry at myself for not doing the "cooler" thing. But I have to have confidence in the Lord. I know He has me there for a reason!

It came as a great relief on Monday when I read in Proverbs, chapter 20 verse 24 that
"a man's steps are guided by the Lord, how then can anyone understand his own way?"

Of course! What on earth am i even worrying about?

Lord, I apologize. Gosh, I am so royally messed up, how can i sit here and wonder YOUR plans and then think that my silly human ones are better than Yours?

I love summer in Texas. Lots of iced tea, swimming, reading, laughing. I just wish I was doing it with my friends around.Its been a week since I last saw them and I already feel their absence. The inside jokes, the fact that they get my humor ( I realized quickly this weekend that the days of everyone in the room laughing with me are pretty much over..yikes!). I feel blessed by them, I really do. NYU will be hard without their constant companionship.


until next time, when i promise to write less sentimental things....
ckm

last post as a current student.

Well, less than 8 hours.

I have less than 8 hours as a current student at A&M.

It's weird. I go from an extreme high to extreme lows. But I guess that's healthy. i would be worried if I was only sad, or only happy. I tend to be a passionate person, emotions don't come in half doses for me!

It's been great getting to enjoy my friends without schoolwork. To cross things off our bucket list, the one we made the first week of senior year when we should have been studying (senioritis hit some of us early...).

So on Thursday we made our way to the Blue Bell Factory in Brenham.





And then just getting to spend time at our favorite coffee shop, MugWalls, and not having the distraction of studying. Just the simple times of laughter, stories, and of course, the unicorn game.



Its definitely nights like those I'll miss the most. The beautiful College Station sunsets coupled with the soft glow of hte christmas lights and the faint breeze over the tin roof. Realizing we're not as "young" as we used to be, that midnight is the new 2 am.


here's to praying i don't trip tomorrow!
-ckm

ill take a side of emotions with that coffee!

In 48 hours I will have finished my last final.

I will leave Wehner High for the last time and get ready for a new life in le big apple.

i love finding places to study in and around the bryan/college station area. I take great pride in the fact that I discovered the Hampton on 6 2 years ago. Last night we turned the conference room of the Class Center in Koldus into our own personal study spot, compete with my Keirug (which i love btw(. Tonight I'm at Living Hope. It's the ideal study spot, plenty of tables, quiet rooms, free snacks, free coffee and....all the emotions that go along with what this body has meant to me.



If there is any word of advice I could give to the underclassmen believers its this:
get plugged in now.
It is unreal how much true community in a body has changed my PERSONAL walk. I feel so loved, challenged and strengthened by the body around me at living hope. I only wish I would have delved deeper sooner. Young kids, older adults and the super cool young married couples have all made their marks on my life . Many days Living HOpe is the one things keeping me from excitement about graduating.

But then I remind myself, this is a time to be JOYFUL and THANKFUL. The Lord blessed me with mentors, teaching and community that I can now seek after as a model as I go out into the world. I am now aware that this type of body CAN and should exist, Lord please give me the courage to pursue this type of fellowship wherever I am!

I could literally go on forever about Living Hope, I really could. But I'm sure I will write more about it in the future.

ISo with that being said, please pray that in the next few weeks I can find joy and not sorrow. Help me to celebrate my time in College Station, and to not mourn in the retirement of this part of my life.

Music at the moment is the Bethan Dillon and Matt Hammit version of "In Christ Alone." My forever favorite worship song, one that means so much. Ch-ch check it out!


-ckm

I can't sing loud enough!

Hello hello and hi!

Well, as the year progresses I've found myself realizing

"hey self, you're about to graduate1"

so obviously that meant i should start blogging.....

The Lord has been working like crazy and its been awesome to see how my life has changed so drastically in just the past few weeks! As most of you know, I went to Gressier, Haiti to do construction over spring break, and well, my heart has not stopped bleeding for the Haitian people ever sicne! There are some great stories here but Iwill have to share them later... I have some big news about this but am waiting to talk to one more person before I make it all public =)

Second, when you are graduating in May, a question you get alot is:

"hey graduating senior! what are you doing with the rest of your life?"

its really an innocent question, but it definitely feels like nails on a chalkboard, especially when you aren't too sure. But now, I can say...

I'm going to New York University!

What is so insane about this is how much this was the Lord's hand! I found out about their Music Business Master's program the middle of December and it was due February 1st. I figured it would be plenty of time until i realized the 4 page, single-spaced personal data outline and 1,000 word research essay that were also attached-yikes! I spent over 25 hours on this application and turned it in the day it was due-double yikes. In 2 parts of my data outline it asked for my research ideas and goals within the music industry. After much debate (with myself) I decided to go ahead and e super honest with my goal-wanting to work with Christian artists that want to release secular music so they have a solid foundation that doesn't compromise beliefs and values but still allows their music to be heard on traditional stations. Now, NYU is definitely not a Christian school, so i knew going in that this could hurt me. But it was true, and it was my heart.

The 2 months leading up to my letter, I did more research, and realized that there was truly no earthly reason why I should get into the Steinhardt school at NYU. My grades are eh. The week I got my letter I had started to accept that I was not going to grad school this year, I became invested with finding a job in College Station. My friend Katie and I then decided we were finally going to combine our passions and start the cupcake shop we had een talking about for 2 years! Thursday I spent in the Center for New Ventures and Entrepreneurship wher I was encouraged to enter the Ideas Challenge, due the following day.

While typing our application the next day, I got an email from NYU, I hastily opened it knowing I get emails from them frequently. To my complete surprise, it started with the word Congratulations!

I wept.

I had said it myself, for nearly 8 weeks, there was NO earthly reason why I should get into this school. So what a comfort and peace to know that this WAS from the Lord! It's been a whirlwind since then, mom and I head to NYC on Weds and that will be the deciding factor upon me accepting their offer.

Right now I am praising Him! What an amazing opportunity that I do NOT deserve! Lord please give me clarity and understanding of where I fit into Your will!

Well, thats all for now, Emily is telling me its time to leave Mugwalls (a place I will miss a lot)

SO blessed,
ckm