now i know.

I remember 10 months ago.

I remember sitting in my kitchen it college station reading the articles, looking at the pictures and hearing the news. I remember listening to "we are the world" and knowing music COULD be used for good. I remember wondering what it would be like to know someone there, to have to question their safety.

today I know.

It's been over 4 months since I got back from Haiti.
It seems like I was there yesterday.The pain never goes away. The longing never ceases. With the outbreak of cholera and now tropical storm tomas, I just find myself in a constant state of hurt. The kind of hurt you get when it feels like someone is getting yanked from you, when you feel helpless, and when you constantly have a knot in your stomach.

today i know.

I wonder how the boys are doing, Eddie, Matthew, Daniel, Charlie, Luce, Fito, Roland, Benito, and Reginald. I wonder about the women from our women's ministry. I wonder about Maguy, Rose Marie and Zet. I wonder about their kids. I wonder about the kids in the orphanages in Carefour and Gressier. I wonder about the people in the tent cities- the ones we shared the gospel with, and even worse, the ones we didn't.

today i know.

I know what it feels to cry over a loss you don't even know happened or not. To feel helpless. I would do anything to get on a plane to port au prince right now, and i mean that 100%. If someone came up to me tomorrow with a plane ticket, i would drop everything and go. Tropical storm and all. Because here I am, sitting in my Manhattan apartment, with my heating, and my solid structure and electricity. And I feel disgusted.

today i know.

what it means to rest assured in the Lord. If I didn't believe in an almighty and powerful God, bigger than earthquakes, disease and tropical storm, then I would continue to sit here and pout over helplessness. But i do know a God like that. I know a merciful and loving God who knows every person on that island, and loves them thousands more than I ever could. Please pray for Haiti, and don't forget them. God is doing huge things there, I've seen it firsthand. He is powerful.

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen."
Ephesians 3:20-21